I have loved the Lord since I can remember. I grew up in church, going to weekly Sunday school and Friday night services. After a family circumstance that brought a lot of doubt into my life, I decided to seek God for myself. In that seeking, the Lord’s love and faithfulness became evident and He went from being my parents’ God to my God.
Growing up, I felt like I had to hold up a facade of perfection because of a pedestal I constantly found myself on. I made sure that I was always the “perfect, put together” Maddie everyone knew me as and because of this, no one ever knew of my battles. I was afraid to let people in. Afraid that if they saw how imperfect I was, it would change how they viewed me. The only one who knew me through and through was God. While I had a great relationship with the Lord, I struggled with friendships because I was afraid of vulnerability and being hurt.
This all began to change when I became a part of Chi Alpha. I found a community that was nothing but a representation of Jesus’ love. Their friendship challenged me to seek God even more, but to also face my issues with vulnerability. In the process of opening up to my small group leaders and trusting my small group friends, they showed me Christ love and I slowly started letting my walls down and letting others in. Now, I no longer have to hide behind fear or carry the burden of perfectionism.
In His love and grace, I was able to find complete freedom. 1 John 4:18 says “perfect love drives out fear” and I’m so grateful for Jesus’ perfect love in my life.
-Maddie, Freshman