I grew up in church & when my dad passed away I wanted to run away but I felt a strong pull to stay. As I continued in church, I learned the basics about Jesus & how to live a moral life. This kept me out of trouble, but I knew there was more. I didn’t understand what it meant for Jesus to be Lord of my whole life. I did things for myself & I would ask God to bless my choices as an afterthought.
Going to college, I was ready to run from God again. But He had other plans & I got plugged into a small group my first day of college. My small group leader lived a life where Jesus sat on the throne of her heart, not dethroning Him when things got tough. Frustrated with my own walk, I went in my dorm room & prayed ‘God I’m not fully yours. I’m tired of running. Help me.’ Matthew 16:25 came to my heart, “For if you choose self-sacrifice and lose your lives for my glory, you will continually discover true life. But if you choose to keep your lives for yourselves, you will forfeit what you try to keep.”
I was gripping so hard to my life. I needed to surrender & give full authority to Jesus. I had heard from God. And I didn’t want that to stop so I obeyed Him. I gave up the things that He asked. It seemed impossible at first. But God gave me grace to do each thing as needed. He blessed me with more of His Holy Spirit & a community who fought for me to live out a surrendered life. In each new season, staying surrendered He provides everything I need right when I need it.
-Kate