LOVING THE UNLOVABLE
“Something must be loved before it becomes lovable.” GK Chesterton. A call that echoes Christ’s command to love our neighbor as our self. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. says it this way “love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend”. In a culture where one can say they love their shoes in the same sentence as their child, let us define Christian love. Love is unselfishly choosing for the highest good of God and His children.
How can something you do transform another? The principle comes back to Jesus’s prayer in John 17, that you and I would be one like Him and the Father. Though this prayer we see we are all interconnected as God’s children. Loving another does two things: transforms your heart to look more like Christ, and calls out the love in the soul of another. We love because He first loved us and we pull out that same love in others by loving them first. An example of this is Chesterton’s illustration of Pimlico, in his book, Orthodoxy. I will be using a NYC paraphrase. Think of your least favorite borough. Upon moving to NYC, I quickly caught on to the joke that New Yorkers least favorite borough is Staten Island, aka the dump. So I will use it, this is all in good fun, feel free to read it with your least favorite.
“Let us suppose we are confronted with a unlovable thing – say Staten Island. If we think what is really best for Staten Island we shall find the thread of thought leads to the throne of the mystic and the arbitrary. It is not enough for a man to disapprove of Staten Island; in that case he will merely cut her off or move to Queens. Nor, certainly, is it enough for a man to approve of Staten Island; for then it will remain Staten Island, which would be awful. The only way out of it seems to be for somebody to love Staten Island; to love her with a transcendental tie and without any earthly reason. If there arose a person who loved Staten Island then Staten Island would rise into ivory towers and golden pinnacles… If people loved Staten Island as mothers love children, arbitrarily, because it is theirs, Staten Island in a year or two might be fairer than Manhattan. Some readers will say that this is mere fantasy. I answer that this is the actual history of mankind. This, as a fact, is how cities did grow great. Go back to the darkest roots of civilization and you will find them knotted round some sacred stone or encircling some sacred well. People first paid honour to a spot and afterwards gained glory for it. Men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her.”
To love the unlovable is to take part in the transformation of someone becoming like Jesus. This takes a certain level of maturity to overlook people’s ugliness or hurts they might have caused you. Now seems like a great time to pray for a greater maturity in Christ. To love the unlovable is taking responsibility in helping our world, our temporary home, look more like Heaven. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (John13:35). On this side of eternity we will never experience the promises of Heaven but we can exhibit Christ’s love to help to prepare hearts for an eternity with Jesus. I want you to ask yourself now, God who is unlovable in my eyes that you are asking me to love?
Now here are some ways to accomplish this, by living out these verses.
1. Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.”
Another word for covers up is conceals. This does not mean we give our brothers and sisters license to sin but covering transgressions that have been repented for and atoned for, meaning the damaging information stops with you. One of my heroes Dick Brogden says it like this.. “We love most genuinely when that knowledge of transgression dies within us, so deeply covered that it is forgotten even to ourselves. Covering transgressions that have been repented of and atoned for (when that covering is not injurious to the innocent) not only binds us to the forgiven, but it also empowers the forgiven to be bound to others who need not know what God Himself choses to forget. We all will at some point need that mercy. Our Lord Jesus absorbed sin and shame for the sincerely penitent, burying it forever in the grave. Only fools dig up what God has buried. Only fools bring to life what God has killed.” Do not pass along anything about anyone that dishonors them.
2. Galatians 5:13 “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”
In a season of quarantine service looks different. Nothing allows you to die to yourself at the service of another that doing someone’s dishes. So when we can be together again do this. Also pay for someone’s bus or subway fare. Right now this could look like dropping of a care package, venmoing money for a coffee. Or simply ask how can I help you? Service helps us to remember that Christ dwells in this person and we need to consider them better than ourselves. Service gives us God’s heart and eyes for another.
3. Colossians 3:13. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Everyone outside of God himself will let you down at some point. Especially as you chose to sacrificially love someone (warning this at first can bring up feelings of insecurity in a person and cause some ugliness). But you did similar things to the Father and the people who first loved you so bear it! The bible is clear in 1 John chapter 4 and Matthew 6 that we cannot love God when we have unforgiveness towards another. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Don’t do it! Remember that forgiving is not condoning but saying '“God I trust you to defend me and act as my judge, I will seek reconciliation and not seek vengeance”.
It is difficult to love to the unlovable, as are many things in the Christian faith, to love and serve Jesus is not for the faint of heart. When we say yes to Jesus we say yes to His methods. No you cannot do this on your own but by asking God to continue to develop His love in you. To see a heart of stone turn to flesh will further drive out any stone left in yours! This week I challenge you all to apply these above verse to the unlovable person God asked you to love and look into the verses below and ask God how can these further help me to love the unlovable. As we make this commitment together we can see transformation at Queens College, NYC, the country and the world. We believe in you Chi Alpha QC, you are world changers! All glory to God.
Continue loving the unlovable by researching and applying these verses: Philippians 4:15, 1 John 3:16, Mark 12:31 & Ephesians 4:2.
— Kate Anderson